Skippy, Steam Mops and Aldi

Pro-Active.
Flick
Steam Mop.
Flick
Two American dudes talking about god..
Flick.
Skippy.
Skippy? 
Flick.
SBS movie
Flick
Car racing
Flick.

Send me all your coffee.  I mean, All. Of. It.  Send me a vat of your toughest concealer while your at it.  Heck, I need more than Photo shop do get these bags out of view.  Currently on the hunt for two toothpicks to wedge my eyes open.  Tired?  Me? Oh no, I'm yawning because Kerrie Anne just isn't on my intellectual level today.  Mmph.  What was that?  Me, up at 2am?  Oh okay, you got me.  Ninja-of-the-awake-at-2am-variety decided that it was time to pull your hair very hard and then proceed to bop their head on the floor and scream until I think they heard her in Brisbane.  We're talking real tears people.  Real Tears.

Now.  Where to start this story?  Where I set the smoke alarms off? Or where took my sorry self back to bed at 10am?  How about where I managed to pin my husband down and write a shopping list that didn't require us to eat spag bol for 7 days straight.  Not only am I a store-it-in-a-basket QUEEN..I am a meal planner from way back.  Drives Chris mental. It's not even 9am and I'm asking him what he wants for dinner next Wednesday.  But! I am winning him over..as it saves us money.  Mmmph who'd a thought?

So while we discussed whether Fried Rice was a dinner AND a lunch..we managed to get passed the fact our coffee tasted like sweetened dish water.  Yeah.  Aldi-coffe-fail.  So, yes..I am in a house with NO PROPER COFFEE.  Isn't that illegal?  Anyway..we were meal planning and planning the epic voyage to the supermarket. So far so good. Armed with a shopping list and a baby that refused to sit in her pram we wandered around the aisles of wonderment of Aldi.  Gotta love a shop where you can get your frozen peas and a 4WD winch. Piled our trolley up high and patted ourselves on the back for being oh-so-thrifty.

Next stop.  Fruit and Veg.  Its like a free for all.  Elbows out and you may be lucky enough to get a mushroom.  If your not quick enough someone steals your spot in the register queue..add to this that every second Nonna stops to talk to me about Emily their grandchildren.  "Yes she can hold her own bottle..yes that saves a lot of time..yes..only 7 months..yes..quite big..hahahah..now bugger off so I can get my zucchini."

Now things go a tad pear shaped. We did the Coles-shuffle and restrained my husband from throttling the slow aisle movers.  He also gets severely knarked off when they run out of stock..do not get me started on the poor 15 year old Safeway employee who breaks out into a small sweat when Chris approaches and they have run out of Red Capsicum's.  Oh don't you worry, I am threaten to pen a book: Things that really Knark Chris off.

A pretty little picture for you:  A 7 month old who is screaming her head off as she wants her afternoon nap.  A trolley loaded with Aldi Beer many many heavy things.  Oh, did I mention we left through the wrong door?  Oh, yes..on the other side of the mall.  Prams can go 4WD'ing it seems...Trolley's not so much. See two neurotic parents and a screechy 7 month old trying to navigate a round-a-bout yesterday?  Fame at last.

So we finally find my little buzz box..my little Tina Barina.  With someone parked 1mm away from my boot.  Park pram.  Stop trolley from denting snazzy car next to us. Move car.  Distract Emily from eating my arm.  Empty a trillion bags into my none existant boot space.  Gah...need my Aldi Trolley token back..Question my husband's history as he is able to get token back with the use of Tina Barina's keys.  Get in car.  Emily has hit higher levels.  Throws her bottle under the seat.  Cars driving so close to my bum, it would have been politer if they bought me dinner first.  Oh..did I forget to mention I am a L plater?

Get home.  Alive.  Excited about my nommy roast chicken roll baking in the oven..along with crispy roasties and an assortment it's good for you..eat it vegies.  Decide that Yorkshire Puddings would be a FABULOUS addition to the menu..never mind I have never made them before.  I saw it once on a Jamie Oliver show..something about oil having to be really hot.  So easy.

So there we were.  Opening every window in the house, flinging tea towels under the smoke alarms...both then running to the Ninja Monitor to see whether we had awoken the monster.  Nothing. Both breathed a big sigh of relief.  So, it was safe to say that the oil was hot enough and in went the batter.  Happy to report that it was a Sunday-Roast-Success.

So after the last morsel of chicken was devoured..an attempt at dish washing was made.  Heard the familiar gurgles coming from the Ninja-den.  Abandon ship!  Abort Mission! A ninja is awakening!  So we played ice statues until the sounds turned to much sleepier ones.  Electric blankets on high..cup of tea's drank and we called it a night.  Phew. What did I do with my time before an Emily?

It was dark.  Very dark.  Too dark for me to even contemplating being awake.  The lights had gone into the red on the Ninja Monitor.  She means business.  Sat on the edge of the bed.  Found ugg boots and that stirred the sleeping husband.  He followed me into the lounge..2am? He made her up a bottle and I sent him back on his merry little way back to bed. Me?  I was determined to win this one.  Tried all the tricks..patting...rocking...burping...nada.  So there we were..both on the lounge floor and me flicking through the channels to find something that wasn't about god.  Or a Mop.  Heck, when you are watching Skippy and enjoying it..must mean I am really sleep deprived.  Thought it may have been the toothy-pegs..oh no.  Much more severe than that.  A poo.  Yep..so not only was I awake but I was contemplating the need of rubber gloves.  Glamorous life.

So.  I sit here in my house that smells suspiciously like burnt oil and a baby that is wondering why Mum isn't lifting her head much from the couch.  I'm getting all antsy because the floor has reached a new level of fluffiness and don't even get me started on what Chris has done to the mud pit infront of our house. The pile of dishes remain undone, Emily is still in her jarmies entertaining herself with her yellow ball and I'm wishing I had the ability to nap during the day.

I need a break.

Wardrobe malfunction?

I think we all have chores we hate doing.  I have many.  Oh so many.  I am also fabulous at distracting myself from things I hate.  I consider myself a relatively organised person, I like to be on time, I like clean clothes, I like to know what's for dinner, I like organisation.  Organisation.  Isn't that a nice word?  Now for someone who is married to a person who has to have all the tins in the cupboard facing the right way it causes a slight rift in happy Ninja-kingdom when the walk in robe looks like a small tribe of tassie devil's have had their morning spinning lessons in there.

In my defense, I have worked in the land of all things Retail since..well since Suzanne Grae thought I could string more that 2 words together and sell their twin-sets and think they were cutting edge.  So, when you have to wear what you sell..I have a lot of clothes.  A rather random selection of outerwear..a selection that takes over..well a lot of space actually.  On the other hand, Chris has 3 shelves..a tiny space to hang his shirts..and a drawer for his undies.  Since I swear he has a second life as a centipede I relented and gave him an extra drawer for his socks.

So in his defense, he is quite good in the sharing cupboard stakes.  He may have put his foot down when I was trundling off with a pile of black pants.  Where was I putting those?  Apparently I am not permitted to make a dog's breakfast of Emily's cupboard either.  Pfffttt.

I promised Chris last night that today's task was to sort it.  I had good intentions.  I even pulled out all the crap onto the bed even before Emily woke up.  I even sorted my jean pile..BEFORE my morning coffee.  Yeah..I fight 'em tough.

That's as far as it got.  I am here distracting myself.  Facebook has never looked so interesting when you have a pile of tangled up cardigans and belts.  Why do I have so any singlets?  So many jeans?  So much..crap?  I keep threatening a garage sale, but Chris reckons no-one in their right mind would show up for a few balled up jumpers and a carrot stained mix-master.

Chris gets scared when I am on the hunt to find homes..for things.  He sees an empty space and it calms him..he gets all zen about it and is in his happy place.  Me? Oh I have plans for shelves, wallpaper, mirrors, ornaments..baskets.  Oh I freaking LOVE baskets.  Baskets and Shelves are like my house-porn.  I like to look at pictures of shelving..I admit to being an Ikea addict.  I like to toddle around the house with an empty basket and contemplate what to fill it with.  That certain sight can make a certain husband's blood pressure rise.  I like to pick random objects and see how long it takes for him to burst out with "Where on Earth is that basket going?"

So, you think be married to a cabinet maker we would be all organised and stuff..shelves and cabinets out our bee-hinds.  Ohhhh no.  We get all tiffy when we find the box of tangled up necklaces I had hidden   stored under the bed.  So, when I ask for a shelf he gets all "When was the last time you wore beads?  Bangles?"   My name is Lauren..and I like to store..things. 

Opposites attract maybe?  Chris likes a simplified life, one of order..symmetry..calm..easy.  If he had his way we would all get around in Bond's romper suits.  He buys the same brand of jeans, fights with sales assistants over things being made in China and still costing $100, he only wears aussiebum undies, he is brand aware, quality not quantity is his rule.  Man made fibres make him a tad tetchy.

Me? oh, I have to remind myself not to walk too fast so I don't cause a static fire with my man-made fibre-ness.  I have so many clothes from the dark depths of Valleygirl..I am even sporting a cheapy Supre singlet.  I am breaking the rule: Wearing tights as pants.  I refuse to part with my year 12 jumper.  I refuse stop my basket keeping ways.

Ikea anyone?

Emily.

• Blowing raspberries with a mouth full of food is..hilarious.
• One must have her legs crossed at all times.
• Any string on clothing must be hidden.  Failure to hide results in sleepy-noises and tanties when string is tucked into bra-strap. 
• Must clamp mouth shut when on a new-teeth-hunt
• Goes to sleep just in time for Glee
• Will sleep through house alarm blaring but will wake for a squeaky door.
• Is learning all about sharing personal space.
• Dad time is fun time.  Dad needs to remember this when she is bright eyed and bushy tailed at 3am.
• Putting our hands over our ears and repetitively shouting dadadadadadadadadad. Is oh-so-soothing.
• Socks are fair game.  On another baby?  even better challenge. Know of a sock that is Ninja-proof..I'd like to hear about it.
• Once sock is out of mouth..and surprise surprise..back on foot.  Mum must produce another sock to continue munching on.
• Tessa is hilarious.  Her red dog tag has been a mission to steal for months now.
• Likes to wee all over the change mat.  Has a sixth sense on when mum has just put a new one on.
• Bath time with mum is fun..we like to see if we can pick the freckles off me. 
• Teeth growing makes for some long nights
• Sometimes sneezes make her cry.
• Music is great.  I think bob sinclair is a favourite.  Also lily allen..we mumble thru the swear words.
• Putting singlets over your head is crap.  Dressing her can sometimes sound like you are extracting her eyelashes.
• Pineapple does things you don't want to ever see in a nappy.
• Watching Mum do yoga on the Wii-un-fit is the funniest thing this side of Melbourne
• We must kill our food as if we were a Kookaburra
• Even if we haven't slept all day, we find energy to sing/jump/be chaotic
• We wonder if the mounds of cubed pureed goodness will ever get eaten.  I wonder if Tessa-dog likes frozen carrot.
• Swings are cool.
• One day she will have a full mop of hair.  We're just taking our time.
• Smelling bums in public..is fine.  As long as it's your own baby.
• Tessa-dog consumes more teething rusks than she has. 
• To wonder where my baby has gone.  Nearly 8 months?  Nearly in size 1?
• My little poppet, ninja, muggins, poo-tastic, shouty-pants, monster, choppers, cheeky chops, teethypegs, bubarooooo, phwoar..was that you Ehhhhhhmaaaaaleeeeee?

Emily, you rock my socks.  Just give them back once you have dribbled all over them.

Seek and you will find.

Yesterday morning as Miss Chewy Pants burbled herself off to sleep, I turned the heater on and grabbed my ugg boots and made quick tracks to my oh-so-lovely-Lady-Land.  Lady Land? Well I have taken over the rights of the nook/study/a room too small to be anything apart from type and have a cuppa in.  Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, yes. I parked my still in my jarmies self in Lady Land sipped my "You'll LOVE coles" brand of coffee.  See already I see this story getting sidetracked.. In a bid for saving pennies we shop at the wonders of Aldi and spend as much time as you would reading War & Peace when we decide on the merits of brand vs $.  Yeah we know how to live it up.

SO.  As I was sipping my povo coffee and stressing about whether the heater had been on too long and whether Vic Gas was already spending their millions as they watched our bill rise..my attention was needed outside.  Anyone living in the Melbourne surrounds know exactly what the weather has been.  Cold. Rainy. Throw in a bit of wind and you have got yourself a shit-walk-to-the-bus kinda of day.  Well, outside there was this poor man braving the elements doing all he could not to get this freaking mud is like clay all over his fancy pants suit.  Then his umbrella wouldn't go up.  When it did..I thought Why bother?  It was that rain that I swear comes up from the ground and your feet are soaked before you can say hand me another Fisherman Friend.

Of course this started my little brain into gear.  How happy I was in my little Ninja cocoon.  Where I leave the house when we want to.  Where we eat lunch when we want to.  Where we don't have to listen to why don't you have this in my size being shouted at us.  Well maybe Emily gets a tad narky when I am too stingey to buy her a bigger sleep suit.  BUT! My life was being controlled by me oh and the bank..and the bills that magically appear on the coffee table..oh and when Emily decides that sleep time is better spent eating my hair.  Yeah, I show them who's boss. 

I haven't always been this way.  When Emily is refusing to eat what I just lovingly spent an hour steaming/pureeing/cooling just to throw the spoon in my eye..I sit back and think:  I am an educated woman and I choose to spend my day singing random HAPPY songs and I get the love returned by the joy of death nappies and an eye-ful of carrot.  When she won't freaking sleep and I have done every trick in the book and all I want is to eat my ham sandwich..I wonder why I even bothered sitting my HSC.  When I remember the bucket full of poo-laden clothes that has been soaking for over a week and smells like a..well you can imagine..I wonder why I even bothered stressing over the thought of career progression.  I have swapped a life of city highlights for surbuban love-lights.

I have a career  life progression.  I have become a Mum.  Where you have moments more often that not where you don't know whether to laugh or cry.  Where you wonder if it's a Napisan or just be done with it and throw. It. Out. Kinda job. Where you sit back and watch her impale Tigger with her teething ring, where you laugh at the new noises coming from her little mouth.  Where your job is to love.  To nurture.  To grow.  To experience.

Watching Grey's last night (as you do) the conversation came up about the "Right time to have Kids" Never. Correct. You will never have enough money, be in the right job, be in the right place. There are a million and one reasons NOT to have kids, but I tell you what I can throw back a few more your way on why you should.

It has it's certian highs and it's definate lows.  I may have never been given a Job description, but if I had, I would have ran from the room screaming and never to be seen again. But it's a job where you can sing and it's cool.  You can stay in your jarmies till midday, you can watch Oprah.  You can just have cuddles..because you can.  You can just be you.  You can just sit back and enjoy the best job out there, not advertised anywhere on Seek.  Not in The Herald Scum.  Just here.  Right where the teethy-growing-screams hurt your ears and the nappy bin piles up so high you wonder when it will topple.  But it's where someone smiles at you when they wake up, where someone finally eats the cereal you made them and where you get as many squishy cuddles as you can fit into a day.

Now, excuse me while I go see what Emily is shouting at. 

100 steps..day 21 to 28

Oh hello there.  How are you?  How is life at your end of the computer? I'm just dandy, thanks.  Well a little battle weary, but that is what happens when a certain 7 month old decides to grow some pearly whites.  Yep, hot of the press we have teeth.  1.5 teeth (well I am even guessing at that since we have decided opening our mouth is a crapola game)  Anyway, that's a post for another day.  Today?  Well today my fellow friends, is Monday.  So if we look through the square window we find its not playschool another installment to 100 steps to a happy camper.  Easy and simple: Take pictures of what I did during the week to achieve a goal of a happy Ninja Keeper. 

So what was achieved this week huh?

Ham and Salad sambo's are yum. Yes, yes there are.  It also doesn't mean just because you had a salad sambo that you can eat your weight in baked goodies.  Chris' workmates had honey joys for morning tea..I wasn't brave enough to be in the house alone with them.Since Chris didn't get the flabby bum gene, he gets carbs central and I get rabbit food nutrition.

Isn't she just the bee's-freaking-knees?  This was at Mum's group..she even had a little kip in her friend's cot.  Beautiful sunny day where lots of cups of tea were drunk and chats to be had...I like Tuesdays :)

Red rosy cheeks?  death nappies? grumpy? Yes, teeth are making their chompy debut.  Yee-to-the-haaw.  We distracted ourselves from the ouchiness of it all by reading books.  Lots of books.  We tried a baby CD, but I sound better singing to the likes of Lily Allen. 

Don't be getting all twitchy on me..the car was stationary and I was parked.  Yeah, they let L platers drive one handed these days.  Any-whoo's.  Mum and dad arrived on one of those things that have wings and while dad met with his we'll-pay-you-if-you-write-school-books people, mum and I went for a little hoon in Tina Barina.  Yes, I may have gotten lost.  Yes, I may like going around round abouts fast.  But we had lunch and it was yum.

We also had a lovely stroll around the lake..ducks followed us a lot.  Must take duckey-snacks next time.  It was just nice, taking time out with my mum.  I make the most of our time together..its a bit of a trek to the shire!

How pretty is melbourne?  I love everything about Fed Square, even more so when they have a Beer Expo there..Mmmmm Beery goodness.  It was so nice just to have selfish me time.  No worries about prams or nappies.  Chris' parents Ninja-sat..I was happy to hand the bonjela over and make a grand escape.

Oh how I love LOVE Sunday's.  I especially like lazy brunches in the warm sun..back to the lake we went.  Had a play eating the grass..had a strong coffee..a peruse of the newspaper..and showed Chris all the ducks.  Forgot Duckey snacks.  Wish it was still sunny.  Wish I still was lying on the warm grass just having some time out.  I wish Sunday's went forever.  Wish my beer headache would bugger off.

Send me all your bonjela...

Loz and the chompy one aka Ninja xo

Mum.

I was doing my normal pottering about stuff this morning when something stopped me in my tracks.  I couldn't place what had stopped me, so I kept making my cuppa and getting Emily's cereal ready.  I stopped again.  What was it?  It was a strange feeling.  I looked over at Emily, she was playing with a rattle I had made from a bottle and some rice...I had also given her a wooden spoon that she was using to hammer all her toys into oblivion.  So, she was fine.  That was it.  She was fine.  More than fine.  Happy.  Healthy.  Confident.  Me?  Well, I fit comfortably into those categories too.

I am by no means Super Mum, who can settle a baby in three seconds flat or who can complete the housework without raising a sweat.  I am far far far from perfect.  But was is perfect anyway?  I have bumbled along the last 7ish months just scraping through and hoping that Emily can erase the frazzled I cannot cope Mum images from her not-so-little head.  These days, the noises from the monitor are happy ones.  I am woken up by the sounds of my daughter just babbling away.  I hear her blowing raspberries to herself as I pop her bottle on the bench.  I love walking into her room, our little routine of stretching from her sleeping bag as I open her blinds.  I love that she lies on her mat while inhaling her breakfast, I get to wake up slowly with my cup of tea and bowl of Weet-bix.

I love that I know what her sleep cues are.  Rewind 3 months, not a clue.  I thought you just put babies to bed and they slept.  No, apparently there is a fair bit of learning in that area.  We learn everyday about Ninja patterns, I am far from having it down pat, but we are making tracks.  I love that I am no longer holding my breath anymore.  I love that I can put her down for a sleep and that negative mood has gone, as I walk out the room I am confident that she will sleep.  At some point.  It sometimes takes about as long as it takes to make the bed, get dressed and have a little lookey at the front garden.  But I understand.  I understand what she is communicating to me.  I have given her the opportunity to learn.  She has given me so much more.

Being a Mum is more that I ever expected.  I expected the laundry, the games, the messiness, the sleeplessness...the random fluffy toys that I swear breed by the hour.  I never expected the love I could have.  I never in a million years would have thought this day would come.  I sit and type from my lovely home, with my daughter sleeping a few rooms away.  I can breathe again.  That suffocating holy crap, this is motherhood?  feeling is fading, I can see the fun.  I can see the smiles. I know that life has more roller coaster jerky moments in store for me, but for the time being I am enjoying: The Now. 

The Now, where Chris lays on the floor and reads her stories.  The Now, where we laugh at how she has to hold her own spoon.  .  .  The Now, where she must have what you are having.  The Now, where she laughs at you drying her armpits. The Now, where I feel the tingles of excitement as I see her grow. The Now, where she is growing so fast I wonder where my baby went. We are growing as a family.  And I like it.

I know that I have experienced Motherhood so much differently to any other Mum.  That's just it, we all have our own stories to tell.  Some breeze through it without a worry in the world (I swear they lie!) Some struggle more than others.  We all break the "rules" at some point.  Who make these rules anyway?  We all just need to get through the witching days. Sometimes we need to use dummies, sometimes we need to pat our babies to sleep.  Sometimes we just want to cuddle them if they cry.  That's just it, we are doing what we think  know is best.  Mother's intuition does go a bit fuzzy sometimes and we do question ourselves, but it is there.  It's in our cores, we have the knowledge, the love, the confidence and all the cuddles our babies need. 

In a life where you are forced into the fast lane, where there is so much competition, where you cannot help but wonder how that person seems so kept together.  I just need to look around my lounge room:  Toys from here to Tuesday, Coffee cups piling up, laundry that speaks to me and cereal smeared to the crevices known to no facewasher...I can't help but smile. 

I am in a world of chaotic happiness.

100 steps..day 15 to 21

So what did I do last week to get 7 steps closer to my goal? I am participating in Linda's 100 step challenge..see she's over to the right there on my Blogroll :)  Join in if you want!  With my ever growing love of taking pics and a need to see the happier side of life..come and have a peek and see what made for a smiley Loz last week.

I never ever manage to post them in order..but thats how I roll.

Not a massive routine fan..but I need some sort of structure to my day!  Am still trying to find our groove with solids, so its been great to at least have some sort of guide to follow.  Already Emily has slept so much better today! Hooorah!  Thats a pic of the book "Save Our Sleep" and my oh-so trusty notebook.  Its my Ninja bible :) (the notebook..not save our sleep)

See those ugh boots?  See that coffee?  See that view from Lady land? see my not to happy hebe plant ? Oh I LOVE my morning ritual when Emily has her nap.  LOVE!

Timetables! Yep, see my previous post on my adventure to the big city!  I cannot tell you how proud I am of myself.  I had two adventures out last week.  I don't think I have ever walked so much, happy healthy times.

Ugh..quite a big close up on the mug hey? I was uber excited that we were going out for dinner and could plaster the war paint on. Felt tres pretty :) Had a awesome night with the lovely Aunty & Uncle..for the record I LOVE Lebanese food and Emily's LOVE Lebanese music. Happy family times :)

See those two poppets?  They make me smile (most) days.  We are still adjusting to all the massive changes we have made, but I just cannot imagine life a different way.  I am loving my little family.

Now just turn your head on the sideways..and you'll see my recipe cupboard!  Its always been there, but have just decided to actually read its contents!  Am in the process of trying to jazz up our very mundane meal plan.  Keep getting distracted and making nommy shortbread and honey joys.  Oops.

Wii-fit.  Have only had it a week and already its a love-hate relationship. I LOVE playing on it..but really should do more than pretend I am a snowboarder on it. My poor Mii character looks a bit worse for wear..apparently I am obese.  Whatev's

And one more, coz I am sneaky :) hehe

Pictures!  We have pictures! hanging! On our walls! Finally we are getting the construction zone vibe outta here and we're slowly putting on our stamp on our home.  Happy home.

Till we meet again

Loz

I do like Pina Colada's...but not getting caught in the rain.

Oprah tells me that when we have learnt a valuable life lesson, we are challenged again in the future to see if we have really listened. Apparently just to double check and see if we really have learnt anything. So when life throws that curve ball at you, it is just clarifying whether you really meant those words you promised.. to see if you really meant business. Well, let me tell you Oprah. I listened..I learnt...and I have a broken Umbrella to prove it.


Sometimes in Loz-Land I tend to get a tad overwhelmed. I question myself a heck of a lot and I often wonder if I am doing the right thing. Sometimes I find myself incessantly whinging rather that doing anything about it. So with a lot of positive self-talk and whole Lotta if I pretend I know what I am doing..I might just convince myself along the way, we are well on our way to happier Ninja ways. I am talking the talk and walking the walk..is that how it goes?  Well in theory, I have decided that I am in the driver's seat and what happens is in my control and there is no need to get all flappy when things don't go to plan.

So with my big girl pants on, I made a date with my favourite friend who I am always guaranteed to have a laugh with. That meant I had to conquer the big bad train. Oh feck, a bus too. So, being the ultimate Virgo planner, I armed myself with a gazzillion different timetables and packed her Nappy bag the night before..set my alarm..got up far too early to do my hair and makeup..and even had both our outfits planned and ready to go. I plan to plan. Its in my genes. Hey mum?

We managed to get dressed, inhale a bowl of weet-bix and made the dash to get to the bus-stop. We got there with ample time. Like 20 minutes to spare. Eager much? Heck, I even had my ticket at the ready. Why? Oh, because the night before I turned my driving lesson with Chris into Lets go buy my ticket..Lets drive passed the bus stop..Lets just see where the train station is.. Yep. Lauren's plan. Over plan, some may say.

So, the bus pulls up, we get on. I have a 2 second freak out that I am on the wrong bus. Get to train station..wait for train. No dramas. Am slightly impressed with my efforts. Miss Emily is super wide-eyes with all the train folk. She may or may not have sung her merry little song all the way into the city. Her merry little song sometimes sounds like she is getting her toenails pulled off one by one, but I swear she is actually happy. With my over eager beaver planning, we get to the city an hour early. Have a little plod around and feel quite little in such a big dominating city. Have brunch..YUM. No hassles, no tears, no tantrums. Emily was quite well behaved too.  All quite cool in Ninja-Loz land..we have this so under control its not even funny.

Brunch over, we have little wander around and have a meander around the wonders of Target. No hassles, no tears. Onto a winner here. Wave goodbye to my lovely friend and venture off to find Aunty Deb's bday present. Geez, the pram is hard to push. Negotiate my way through the Suit Circus and manage to find one of the few parents rooms in the city. I hate these rooms..just think stinky bums x 100 and you have hit jackpot. Anywhos, we find one and I push my dead weight of a pram through its not-so-pram friendly doors. Find reason for not so easy pushing: Flat Tyre. Oh so flat. Breathe. Oh..I have the pump! Brilliant! Pump wheel back up. Pat self on back for being so calm. 100 metres and seconds later away I find myself with tyre back to its flat state. Fark. Message Chris: Puncture! His suggestion of finding a bike repair shop was met with a less-than-impressed Our baby weighs over 10kg's, I am not wandering aimlessly around on 2 wheels to find a supposed magical repair shop. 10 painstakingly long minutes I am back at the train station. I have already pumped the tyre back up 8 times. Wait for train. Emily is fast asleep. I look like a complete bogan, pumping up her tyres. Haven't cried yet. Another pat on the back.

Get on train. Pump up tyre another time. Just have to get on the bus and all will be well. Oh, fark. Forgot about the 15min walk home. Oh hello thunderstorm, aren’t you a brilliant addition to my day? No worries, I am not stressed, I have an umbrella.

Sit on bus..willing the tyre to stay all up and the like. Promise the not-flat-tyre-gods I will do an extra set of lunges tomorrow..I’ll even throw in a few extra sit ups to sweeten the deal. The gods must have had their Ipod’s turned up loud, as the tyre was ssssss-ing its way to flat-ness land. Wheel the concrete block of a pram off the bus, waited till it left as I didn’t what to endure any more humiliation. This is when the rain started..Oh sorry did I say start? I meant pelt-you-from-every-angle instead. Have you ever tried steering a pram with only 2 working wheels with only one arm (other occupied with umbrella) No? Fabulous exercises. Maybe thats how Michelle Obama gets those killer arms.

Fecking Umbrella brakes. Emily decides that it is milk time. Like now. Of course I don’t have a bottle ready to go. So there I am..mixing a bottle of formula while getting drenched with the elements and I see the tyre go to a all new level of flatness. Is this a test? A test of my mother-patience? A test of not-getting-phased-in-public? A test of not getting overwhelmed anymore? Oh, yes Oprah it was.

Have our house in my sights. I am nearly there..can feel the warmth of the heater already. Can taste that cuppa I am about to devour..can feel the snuggliness of my jarmies..I can..I cannot feel my arms anymore. Don’t mind me Emily, you stay there in your little dry cocoon, I’ve got this one covered.

I have never ever been so relieved to be home. Peeled off all my wet clothes, propped the oh-so-dry-happy-and-fed one on her play mat. Made the mistake of looking in the mirror. Should have saved myself a whole hour this morning, my mascara had run all down my face, my hair had taken on another life form and my clothes lay in a wet crumpled mess on the floor.

Was that enough for one person to endure in one day? Oh-no..the Oprah-test was just heating up! It was all exit stations in Emily’s bowels apparently. The house smelt like a fun mixture of wet dog and arse. Glen20, you can have that one for free. Also, it is an insanely FUN game to kick said crap all into your socks. Socks have gone to live in the Napisan-bucket-land.

 A pretty little picture for you: Frizzy hair, mascara all over my face, half dressed and holding a pair if poo-ridden socks.


Test: Passed with freaking flying colours.

Framed.

Chris and I have been skipping down memory lane this week, well Chris' don't really skip but I'm all for a good story.  Since Emily has decided that nap-time actually involves shutting of the eyes and not the screaming at the ceiling..this house has been a tad calmer.  So with sleep time, comes ME-TIME.  Yes I am shouting at you..because for the first time in a gazzillion years I actually have time to boil a kettle, sit down and forget about that breeding pile of clean socks and jocks.  But, for some unknown reason...I actually need projects un-ninja-related.  Queue, photo wall.  Now I have dreamed of this photo wall since the day I signed my life (well, Chris' he earns the dosh in these parts) for the next 30 blissful years.  Now since the nice people at the Reserve Bank seem hell bent on making my wrinkles appear a little less like laugh lines..I have to be creative...and selective on what one does with their sleepy baby time.

So hanging on my wall is 20-odd frames.  Quite pretty little ditties they are.  Even prettier if they had photo's in them.  See, its like choosing favourites.  How can I fit so many memories onto one wall?  Weddings, babies, houses, parties, families, holidays, honeymoons,..the list goes on.  Chris' conclusion?  We'll just fill the walls.  I like this mans thinking.

I spent a fair bit of Ninja-sleepy-time sifting through discs upon discs and files upon files and had a teary moment where we can't find the disc with all our pics of France on it.  Chris assures me we haven't lost it.  I on the other hand am a bit of a control freak and need to know. Where. It. Is. NOW.  *breathe* 

So here a few samples of what made me quite gushy and all I kinda like my life moments.

When I walked the longest aisle in the world with my Mum and Dad on each arm..tearing up to Fleetwood Mac..to marry a man words can't describe how much I love.  Truly one of the best memories I will hold onto. 

Back in '06 We got engaged..so what do most people do? Have an engagement party?  No, we put aside all plans of taffeta and veils and had a 6 week adventure across Europe.  We learnt so much on this holiday, the value of laughter, new experiences and what fun you can have when your fiance makes your trek an hour in the midday heat with a back pack on your aching back and promises that we are going the right way.

A place that has a little piece of my heart is the Sofitel, Melbourne.  One of the first years I met Chris we made the 4 hour drive from our home town and celebrated my birthday in style!  We thought we were beyond special!  It then kind of became a ritual to stay there..we loved it and no where could ever compare.  We got engaged there, while Melbourne twinkled its lights below us, We had our wedding night there and ate incredibly nommy cucumber sandwiches.  We even had our first and second wedding anniversary's there!  I love this place, full of memories.

My sister's wedding.  I loved loved loved their wedding.  It was so personalised, we listened to their vows by the banks of the Murray and were treated to gorgeous food and wine.  Needless to say I did struggle a tad with heels and the aussie bush. 

There is a Ninja in there!  I actually love this photo..one that unfortunately never see its life in a frame.  Lets ignore the fact I am not wearing pants..hullo I was 30ish weeks pregnant and pants were rarely an option.  I love how you can see glimpses of my oh-so-pregnant life.  Piles of pillows on the bed, bottles of water, pregnancy books and to even think that a not-so-little Emily was cooking there?  Now that makes me wanna cry.

I love this.  Chapter one of Ninja Towers.  So much meaning behind this photo, it gives me chills just to think what we have achieved.

Enough said really.

Have a great day! Cheeeese!

100 steps..Day 8 to 15

Hello there.  I'm well, thanks for asking.  So I had my trusty dodgy digi-cam at the ready all this week to participate in the 100 steps challenge..where I am recording my journey to a happier Ninja Kingdom.  Oh, so not feeling the happy vibes today..my brain is crammed with too many what-ifs at the moment.  BUT! that's not why we are here, we are here because we are happy! right?  No fancy mosaics this week, have fart-arsed around for too long planning garden beds and Chris keeps interrupting me asking where I want my jonquils.  Yep, so many answers to that one. 

100 steps..3rd to the 9th of May

I heart this book.  I am loving reading to Emily, I love hearing Chris read to her.  Sometimes I think we get more enjoyment out of the book than she does.  Books were such a huge part of my childhood, to this day I will always have a book on the go.  I am re-reading all my Marian Keyes..good chuckles.

How cool is this guy? Pretty cool if you ask Emily.  So much so that she couldn't have him out of her sight for 2 days straight.  He was just happy chilling out on her change table (after spending 10 minutes prying the duckiness from her hands) I picked her up and went to leave the room.  She flung herself out of my arms to grab Mr Duck.  Random happy chuckle for the day.

How amazing has this weather been?  I love feeling the sun on my face..I love watching our new grass grow..I love my cuppa in the morning sun...I love watching gorgeous bubs playing in the afternoon sunshine while we dye our hair..I love that Chris is making that pile of rock into..less of a pile.

I had a few brief "god, I feel like crap" days where I oozed snot and general meh-ness.  I could sense that I was falling into the trap of woe-is-me-ness and called an all mighty halt to it.  This was that exact moment.  We work hard for our happiness.  I control the next chapter.

Meanies ^^

Shock horror.  To actually lose weight I have to actually move? who'd a thunk.  Lasted a grand total of 20 minutes of this DVD.  The dog thought my push-ups were an invitation to play chasey..and Emily just laughed when I did my squats.  Dvd now lives back on it shelf.  Was boring anyway.

Oh my ipod. How I love thee.  (I don't actually listen to it upside down..but anywhoos)  After I packed the Dvd of Biggest Loser-ness away.  I did what I do best..grooving around the lounge room with Emily singing at the top of my lungs.  I love Florence + The Machine's You've Got the Love..so was sooper dooper excited when she did a collaboration with Dizzee Rascal.  Ahh..Should get singing lessons me.  Happy times. I love the lyrics.  Also have added a few new tracks this week that have had me smiling...one of my gorgeous friends has even has even had her song added! Let it Go..Dub Kay feat Angie L is worth buying!!

I am a mii.  A dompy mii at that.  Mother's day is a whole wonderful post in itself so I will add that in the moro.  BUT! Tessa-dog and Emily-Ninja saved up all their pennies and bought mum a Wii-fit. Hah, take that biggest loser!  Its truly awesome.  We all have our own Mii's and can even have Tessa and Emily weigh ins!  Chris even got me a Fitness First Wii game..That looks like a world of pain right there.(ps..Emily is nearly 10kg's..Tessa is 11kg's and I am obese.  Yippee. Chris? Oh he's in the healthy range.  Of course he is.)

Happy times people..Happy times

Till next time xo

How Alex Lloyd saved the day.

This post comes from a happy place.  A place where there is a massive glass of wine next to me, I have a full belly and most importantly:  Emily is asleep. She better stay that way otherwise I seriously contemplating enrolling her as a young apprentice and she can go off with her dad everyday to work.

Today was one of those days.  Lucky me woke up yesterday feeling royally crap, in the form of runny nose-itis and geez this headache can bugger off too-ness.  I was to say the least, feeling a little under the weather.  I think Emily got the hint while I lay next to her on the floor and she pulled my hair from the roots and I didn't bat an eye lid. Nurofen anyone?

So, yesterday wasn't too bad in the scheme of things.  Emily slept and I dragged my heels around the house and had a general whinge about things to myself.  I even dragged my sorry self around the block for our family walk.  I may or may not have had a bit to say about leaving my woe-is-me nest.

Today.  Oh today.  What was with today? You know when you are fighting something off all you want to do is find a quiet place and just have a few moments of time-out?  A place where preferably there isn't a 7 month old testing the strength of her vocal chords?  Where you don't get apple puree spat in your eye?  Where no toy will do..I must look at your face.  No, not from the couch.  Yes..come closer.  Just as you edge closer you get bopped on the head with the not so snuggly plastic ball.  Delightful.

Now, I will admit I am a bit of a stickler for constants.  Do not mess with my routine.  Any changes and my little brain goes into overdrive and poofs of smoke comes out my ears.  I like our little pattern Emily and I have achieved.  She wakes up, has a play, food and then has a big sleep in the morning.  Bliss.  I am usually spoilt with nearly 2 hours of pure Loz-ness.  So today, while I snuggled up into Lady-Land and propped my cup of tea on the window sill and logged into facebook, I was quite surprised to hear the familiar wails come from the monitor. 30 minutes? That's it? Whatwhatwhat? 

That is pretty much how the day panned out.  I thought after that little kip she may go back for her afternoon sleep earlier.  No.  A big fat no.  We needed songs, books, looks out the window, more songs, different toys, our milk hotter, not that cereal, throw our sippy cup all over the floor, pull half of tessa-dog's beard out, umpteen hours of general shrieking aka singing, Oh what, you thought I'd sleep?  I watched her like a hawk those nearly 6 hours.  No, rubbing of the eyes.  No yawns.  Nada.  Rest?  Me? You have to be kidding.

Since we are all about honesty here, I lost the will to live at 2pm.  The dog had decided to partake in how-far-can-we-push-mum before she breaks.  She decided that I was the person to follow.  She waited outside the toilet door for me.  It was like having a toddler..in dog form.  Emily had now reached hyperactive levels..think shrieks and throwing things and you've hit jackpot.

It was safe to say I had had enough.  Wished I could call in sick.  "Hi Emily, its your Mum here.  Just ringing to let you know that I'm unwell *cough cough* and can't make it in today"  How brilliant would that be?  I let go of my dream and went back to prying the dog's tail out of Emily's grip.  My head was pounding more and more..my nose was permanently attached to a tissue and I was doing my all not to cry.  From the whole day I had only managed a measly 30min to myself and with that time I arsed about.

Sent narky text to Chris. Kicked Miss Furry-Followy pants outside and wheeled Emily in her high chair into the bathroom.  I plugged the Ipod in and turned the volume up high and retreated for a few minutes of hot-shower goodness.  I stopped in my tracks.  The song that randomly came on the ipod was our first dance song at our wedding.  I had to laugh out loud (LOL for you young-ens) I had a vivid picture of Chris and I attempting a bridal waltz, everyone tittering at Chris counting the steps out to me.  All I wanted to do, was spin in my princess dress.  See, if I even have one glass of champagne and have a dance floor in my sights I will no doubt have Chris up there spinning up a storm.  Drives him bonkers. (Alex Lloyd, Bus ride, brilliant song!)  I loved our wedding day..but that's for another post :)  It always brings a smile to my face to think about our day.

Next to come of the play list was another favourite.  One that was in the top40 when I was heavily preggers with Emily.  I had a flashback of me prancing (well as much prancing a 30-odd week pregnant lady can do) around the bathroom and may have even done a bit of hair-brush karaoke.  (Heavy Cross, Gossip..lots a great high notes for shower singing!)

A new mood was born.  I had gone from dooms-day to Doris-Day.  Emily thought all her xmas-es had come at once...Mum singing to me..into a hairdryer?  Brilliant!  So the Ipod replaced all grumpy thoughts for the rest of the afternoon..I may have even had a little sneaky diva moment pretending I was on Australian Idol...

Don't you wish you were my neighbour?

Pear-Puree-FAIL

"Oh..what the.."
"Emily..have you?
"Ugh...The house stinks"
"Your dad owes me big time.  BIG time"

I had one of those moments this afternoon where you wish you had the ability to divide your body in half.  Or clone yourself..either one I am not fussed.  If I could have done any of those I wouldn't have a burnt saucepan, sink full of pears and a bucket filled with soiled clothes.  Now, don't all scramble for your keys and hurry on over to join the fun..I know I make this motherhood lark sound incredibly enticing but we at Ninja Towers have this one covered.

As we forked out a couple hundred dollars for a gigantic freezer, I thought it was about time to actually fill it with more than a few frozen margarita glasses and a forgotten loaf of bread. I have been puree-ing up a storm in these parts for the last couple of days..some have gone down like a treat..others like a lead balloon.  So when the food-gods at woolies put pears on special, we thought we'd give it a crack. 

It all started in good spirits, Miss Emily chewing on her new book while I cut up the said pears.  There I was dancing the little jig that one does while trying to organise dinner for 3 people and the wee furry one (Tessa-dog..who did you think I meant?)  In hindsight, this is where I should have downed tools and investigated a little more into why Emily suddenly turned a little grizzly.  No, no.  What did I do?  continued on my little merry way, cutting up chicken and sweet potato and throwing it all in the oven (which turned out very yum) Every now and again, throwing out a "be there in a second..Ooh look mum is making you pear! nomnomnom!"

Threw all the pears in the pot, let them simmer happily away, tidied up and considered throwing a bottle of vino in the fridge for good measure.  I looked over at the not-to-impressed one and thought I better save the duck from a painful slobbery death-by-Ninja.  I knew just stepping one metre from her.  That glint in her eye.  That..that.  Smell.

As I picked her up..another hindsight moment.  Turn. The. Pan. Off.  Simple? Yeah..there is a reason why this mum isn't up for any martha stewart awards this year.  So my house had a very caramelised pear and old el crappo whiff about it.  I mean seriously, why don't Glen 20 market that smell?  Onto a winner there. So no, the pan stayed on..high mind you and quickly burnt my pears into oblivion. 

Have you heard the term poo-plosion? Yeah well.  Believe them.  The forces of this one were huge.  So huge for the first time in my nearly 7 months of this gig I was wiping her underarms.  Oh yes, her underarms. 

Thank god for Napisan.

100 steps..Day 1 to 7

I have a bounce in my step today ..and that's a big call as I haven't even had my morning coffee yet! Well, actually I lie, its next to me but unless I want 3rd degree burns to my mouth it will stay untouched for a few more minutes.

I am happy.  So deliriously happy that even I am rolling my eyes at myself.  Why?  Well, read on and come with me into the world of Loz's imagination (isn't that a Willy Wonka song..) I digress.  See? I am uber excited about this whole thing I feel like a giddy kid that has been given a litre of red cordial and has been bouncing on a tram-bam-poline for the last hour.  Phew.  *Breaks to sip coffee*

Okay.  The oh so lovely Linda over here http://imjustlinda.blogspot.com/ has begun (well she has started, I am late to join the party) 100 small steps challenge http://imjustlinda.blogspot.com/2009/11/100-small-steps-challenge.html Where you can document each day, changes you are making/creating for a goal you want to reach.  Now, this excites me for 2 reasons: I love photo taking and I love a challenge.  Perfect.  Sign me up.

So I have of course, a gazillion goals but the main one that keeps popping its little perky head up is: Happiness.  I also aim to lose 15 kilos but we'll see... In this house we have donned the "woe is me" hat for far too long and I am proud to say that there is a happy little vibe oozing from these walls these days.  After long and lengthy chats with my brilliant (BRILLIANT!) mum, I have been thinking so much more of the power of the mind.  I have a life..I want to live it..breathe it...experience it.  Life is not a dress rehearsal. 

So what have I done to make a happier me?  Now some photos you may think "Why would broccoli make someone happy?"  Well, its all about getting my life in order...and well Broccoli is quite yum actually!

100 steps starts today! (well last week, but lets not get all pedantic about it) I have also cheated and used more than 7 days worth of happiness..but I was never one to stick to rules..next week maybe..

26th April - 2nd April
Day 1 to 7

From Left to Right..Top to Bottom..
Mother's Group..A bank of information..laughs...cute bubba's..and no doubt a few cuppa's.  Oh and can't forget some pretty grouse mums ;)

Emily This little girl is such a character..she really makes me such a happier person in myself.  I want to make a better life for her. 

Solids Finally got the hang of this lark! Result? Happy!  Frozen little cubes of broccoli and zucchini and another concoction of carrot, sweet potato and normal potato.  Feeling inspired as I have hauled out all my baby food books and have a few recipes up my sleeve.

Home I have seriously moved to the land-of-most-amazing skies! I love watching the storms roll in, the clouds, the rainbows.  This is a start to loving the four walls I live in..no more complaining about living a gazzilion miles from my lovely city.  We like it.  Don't we Emily?

Tupper-spoon  No, we don't like weaning spoons apparently.  We also like to also feed ourselves.  Back off Mum. 

Me time Made even more funner with my sister :) seriously one of my favourite weekends.  Wine tasting and Tapas..followed by a day of pay tv goodness..a purchase of a chicken for Emily (a NEW pet!)..Chris headed out and went 4wd'ing...haven't seen him smile so much in yonks.  Happy times.

Lady Land My little haven.  All crap has been cleared out and its my space...so don't EVEN think about leaving your crapola in here.  See that mug? My fav Christopher Robin mug filled with coffee goodness.  Haaaapppppy Times!

Murphy  My mum sent down a care package for me and Emily..in it contained THE best book..."A day in the life of Murphy"  Brilliant.  Its just captures our Tessa-dog..We are yet to even read it to Emily! has been on my bedside table for the last week!! Such a belly laugh!

So that's the week of my little baby steps to happiness!  Its a journey that will be much longer than 100 steps, but I hope that you enjoy the journey to a happier: Mum, wife, friend, daughter...Me.

Happy times xox