Bham, that hurt.
There you are, stunned and unsure of your footings.
The blow of your husband walking through that door and announcing words that send shivers to your core. You feel sick. You look for that open door. You look for answers. You look for a positive twist. You search for that open door. You fuddle in your pockets, looking for the elusive key, to open the damn thing.
Voluntary redundancies.
Then enforced.
The Job Lottery.
Who will win, who will lose?
With the door slammed in our faces and the impact rippling through our cores. I felt hurt. It stung. I felt the roller coaster was tittering over the edge. I did what I do best. Maintained my composure, nutted out a plan and got dressed. Wedged my fitball into the Tina Barina beast and headed to the gym.
We don't need this.
Or do we?
Is this the sign that we needed?
Get those dreams into fruition?
It's scary. It's exciting. It's daunting.
I got home from the gym. Stood in the kitchen. Cried. Big sobbing tears. I hugged Chris. So tight. Told him I wasn't scared. We would make this work. We always do. I just hated it. I hated that it was even happening.
We wait. We make our own plans.
I feel motivated. I feel hurt. I feel this may just be the kick we need. Bigger, better and all that jazz. I feel sad that we have to roll with the punches again.
Yesterday, was hard. I woke to the dark cloud following me. I missed my mate Jane, I wished for nothing more than to have a cuppa and a natter with her.
It got to lunchtime and I was sick of myself. In the car we bumbled and found a new park. On top of a mountain. I sat on a swing and thought.
We can bloody do this.
Just try and stop us.
Thankful. For finding a moment to breath.
Linking up with:
oh no, not words anyone ever wants to hear. i have everything crossed for you that it works out for the best. i do think things tend to work out that way but i know how very hard it is to feel that way when you're in the midst of it, and how hard it is to have faith and let what will happen, happen.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you Loz, and trusting that the universe will deliver for you. As much as it sucks, you have the right attitude, and this may just open up a whole new world of possibilities. Change is always hard, if it comes, but it isn't a bad thing if you can make the most of it! Give yourself time to process, the answers will come xo
ReplyDeleteBest of luck to you guys that this will be resolved quickly and you'll know the direction that you're heading in and that cloud of worries and doubts will stay away. I can't imagine what you're going through, but you are right you know - you can do this. By the way - what an awesome location for a park - what a view.
ReplyDeleteYou CAN do this. Just believe.
ReplyDeleteFaith, hope and clarity.
xxx
Best of luck! Always find a positive in the negative though it may be hard, you will find something. Glad you found some time to breathe :)xo
ReplyDeleteWhile I was reading your blog, I could feel your emotion. I almost expect that very same news to come from my partner any day. I love how you go up to high places to help you think, clear your mind and get some perspective....I do just the same thing.
ReplyDeleteCyber hugs. Theres always a way to make things work. It will come at the right time.
ReplyDeleteAt the time, I never thought I'd say this, but my husband loosing his job two and a bit years ago was one of the best things that ever happened to us. It's hard and scary and makes for lots of sleepless nights, but you'll come out on top.
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward to reading about the new doors that have opened. They will Loz, you know they will. Keep the faith honey xox
ReplyDeleteHoney, we're in the same place at the moment.
ReplyDeleteIt's soooo unsettling to comprehend the wage that we live from - pay to pay - is under threat. Serious threat.
But, for some reason I am calm. Hopeful. Reflective.
We're going to be just fine.
All of us.
xxxx
Love that you can see a silver lining through the fear! Such tough times for you, but perhaps it is a sign that it's time to step out in faith. Well, an enforced sign, but a sign nonetheless!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it Loz. Whatever it is, embrace it. Xxx
ReplyDelete