When one door closes another one opens. This is true. The universe is good at meddling like that. Sending little messages, little signs to usher you in the right direction. However, it doesn't make the blow any easier as the door closes right in your face.
Bham, that hurt.
There you are, stunned and unsure of your footings.
The blow of your husband walking through that door and announcing words that send shivers to your core. You feel sick. You look for that open door. You look for answers. You look for a positive twist. You search for that open door. You fuddle in your pockets, looking for the elusive key, to open the damn thing.
The Job Lottery.
Who will win, who will lose?
With the door slammed in our faces and the impact rippling through our cores. I felt hurt. It stung. I felt the roller coaster was tittering over the edge. I did what I do best. Maintained my composure, nutted out a plan and got dressed. Wedged my fitball into the Tina Barina beast and headed to the gym.
We don't need this.
Or do we?
Is this the sign that we needed?
Get those dreams into fruition?
It's scary. It's exciting. It's daunting.
I got home from the gym. Stood in the kitchen. Cried. Big sobbing tears. I hugged Chris. So tight. Told him I wasn't scared. We would make this work. We always do. I just hated it. I hated that it was even happening.
We wait. We make our own plans.
I feel motivated. I feel hurt. I feel this may just be the kick we need. Bigger, better and all that jazz. I feel sad that we have to roll with the punches again.
Yesterday, was hard. I woke to the dark cloud following me. I missed my mate Jane, I wished for nothing more than to have a cuppa and a natter with her.
It got to lunchtime and I was sick of myself. In the car we bumbled and found a new park. On top of a mountain. I sat on a swing and thought.
We can bloody do this.
Just try and stop us.
Thankful. For finding a moment to breath.
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