Act One.

Action!


Stage left, there is a pile of dripping wet washing, that has no where to hang.  

Stage right, there is The Toddler who is on her twentieth meltdown for the day, because she wanted a cup of tea.  Alas.  She isn't allowed a cup of tea.  She is now gluing 99.9% of the house into a scrap book.

Rain smashes on the windows, our attention however is turned to the noise of hammering.

Behind stage, we have a 30 year old man building precisely fifty different pieces of furniture, one of which is drying in the bathroom.  The Furniture Maker has a exhibition in a week and may or may not be a little bit under the pressure.  The correlation of the words of "Not going to lose my shizzle" and "I need to build some chairs" express this.

The stage floor is covered in one part weetbix, two parts saw dust and three parts budgie seed.

We are then introduced to: The leading lady.  Who is lost under a sea of tissues and is silently eye-twitching at her coffee machine.  Her stance is intermittently broken by an overwhelming cough.
One where she is unsure if she will wee herself or vomit.  

Centre stage, the vapouriser puffs away diligently.  Vapour rub is smeared from here to next Sunday and a half cut onion is on the bench.  Helps clear the airways apparently.  The leading lady would probably rub it into her eyes if it would help.

The understudy, aka The Toddler is refusing to eat anything unless it is drowned in sprinkles.  Even then it's touch and go. She very nearly broke the leading lady when she sneezed and used the last of the tissues.

What has been seen, cannot be unseen.

They have now resorted to toilet paper.

It has been raining all day.

The Leading Lady is awaiting the delivery of the plague of locusts.

The Furniture Maker is now bringing more furniture into the house.  The Leading Lady, also has no idea where to put it.  The bathroom is already taken.

The dog is looking expectantly at the Leading Lady.  She chortles as if to say, No way am I going out in THAT.. as she points to the muddy puddles outside.  The dog mooches off. Probably to sleep on The Furniture Maker's pillow.

There is an assortment of strange jars drying on the sink.  Leading Lady doesn't even want to know. She stopped asking when she realised that they had to find room for six shipping cane baskets.

Her attention has been averted as she has just found the overdue library books.  The ones she was supposed to take back last week.  She writes it on her list, next to Buy Garbage bags.. as they have run out of them also.

She adds Tissues to the list.  Soft ones. Her nose winces.

A Charlie & Lola DVD has been dispersed to distract from the scene unfolding before us.  The Under study aka The Toddler has apparently lost the will to live after standing on a pencil.

The Leading Lady braces her pelvic floors as she has another coughing attack.

The washing still sits there.

The floor is now covered in four parts Milo. And Glue.  And stickers.

The Leading Lady by this stage, as called it rest time.  She pulls out the lap top and pens her anguishes...



End of Act One.


Stay tuned for Act Two, where the leading lady finally leaves the house in search of tissues and The Toddler eats more than one jam sandwich.  The Furniture Maker.. well he'll be trying to work out to store twenty jars, six shipping baskets and two lamps in the bathroom.








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